how to cope with someone else’s problems

I have spent the last month asking God for wisdom to deal with a particular relationship issue in my life. I started asking God to change this person and have ended up seeking God and asking Him to change me. I prayed about it and began rereading Proverbs, knowing the amount of wisdom that can be found in this particular book of the Bible. At first I centered in on those verses that spoke to the problem of the person I was dealing with, but by the time I even finished with chapter 3, my heart was torn and I began begging God to give me wisdom and right responses.
Proverbs 12:18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
It doesn’t matter so much what others say as how I respond to what they say. They can speak rashly but my tongue can bring healing.
Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tear it down with her own hands.
I can choose to be foolish and tear others down or wise and build my own house.
I began to see that judging that other person is a way of playing God. It doesn’t matter about right or wrong, even if I am right in what I am thinking about that person’s words and choices, if I am condemning them, I am judging them. And if I am judging them I am trying to play God in their life.
I don’t think I can be God in anyone’s life. I am just a fallible human, just like they are.
When I finished my study today, I realized that God had changed me and not that person. Our relationship was better, but because I had taken off my judgement hat and put on my mercy hat. God had answered my cry for wisdom, but not for wisdom about how to confront this person or how to change them. He gave me wisdom about myself and my own heart. Proverbs 19:11 in the Message Bible says: Smart people know how to hold their tongue: Their grandeur it to forgive and forget.
Lord make me wiser and smarter.